DADA with L and Light
by bloodpirette
Summary: L and Light are in DADA with Umbridge. Short little story with barely any plot. Might be funny. L being monotone and Light being contrary.
1. Chapter 1

"I cannot think of anyone who would attack you while in this classroom."

The silence that followed was broken by a single sound of derision from the back. Everyone turned to look at the two transfers from Japan.

"Yes dear, would you like to say something?" Umbridge asked, her falsely polite tone implying in no uncertain terms that should they answer it had better be Ministry approved propaganda or there would be severe consequences. Unfortunately for Umbridge, Ryuuzaki Rue either did not pick up on it or, the more likely option, did not think her severe consequences were very severe at all.

"I can think of several people that would attack everyone in this classroom with no second thoughts" his monotone voice echoed slightly as the rest of the class prepared for what they knew was going to be a huge humiliation for Umbridge. Rumour had it that Ryuuzaki had won multiple arguments with Dumbledore.

"Oh? And who might those people be?"

"Well first and foremost there is a 50 percent chance that Light-kun will attempt to attack you Professor Umbridge." Simultaneously every pair of eyes in the classroom slid to the person sitting next to Ryuuzaki in disbelief. Light Yagami was not the sort of person you would expect to attack someone. Ever. Under any circumstances.

"My, my Ryuuzaki such a low percentage, you only gave me a 50 percent chance? Your sugar intake must be almost nothing if you're spouting off such skewed percentages. You should have given me 75 percent at least."

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**Okay I have no idea where I was going with this. I blame the plot bunnies. They hopped around my head and offered me cookies if I wrote this. Please just ignore the fact that L seems to accept that Light is violent and/or Kira and go with it? Please?**

**You can do whatever you want with this if you think you can do something with it. It is yours. I haven't even read most of Death Note so there is no way I'm going to do anything more than drabbles, I was just reading a bunch of fanfics and thought hey wouldn't it be great if L and Light mindfucked Hogwarts. So there you go. Enjoy.**


	2. Chapter 2: Authors note

**Hey people! Anyway, since I've gotten such good feedback (Nine reviews! And a whole bunch of favourites!) I have decided that I will make this into a series of drabbles of L and Light at Hogwarts, some may be connected, some may be completely random and some may even be completely contradictory. However I would like you guys to give me ideas for the stories, vixxster2492 has already said that she would like to read their argument with Dumbledore so I'm going to write that next if you have an idea PM me or even just write it as a review.**

**Thanks to all the people that favourite-ed me and reviewed your reviews really helped my confidence level with my writing and made me smile for weeks. I'm still a bit in shock that people liked my stories.**

**I'll try and write the scene between Dumbledore and L and Light soon but no promises as things are kinda hectic right now with House Drama in school.**


	3. Chapter 3

Twinkling blue eyes peered over half-moon spectacles disapprovingly at the young boy sitting in the chair opposite.

"Mr. Rue we simply cannot allow it. There are several laws in place that-"

"I know the laws Professor Dumbledore and they can be quite easily circumvented through quite legal means. If you really did not want this to happen then you shouldn't have made laws that could be so easily defeated. No wonder that the Death Eaters could gain such a foothold if your Ministry is this inept."

"Easily defeated? My dear boy what do you mean? Those laws have been in place for years, you cannot simply find loopholes in them so easily."

"It is quite simple really," Ryuuzaki started, "if you take sub clause 62 in the 1853 law that bans pets other than owls, cats or toads and apply it to the Statute of Secrecy along with the 1921 Baker's Law then the resulting confusion from the contradictions in place make it -."

Light merely shifted in his seat uncomfortably as the arguments wore on. It had been six hours already they still hadn't reached an agreement.

"Alright, just shut up both of you. Professor if you don't allow this then Ryuuzaki will find some way to escalate it. Just let him go to Paris and eat cake every Hogsmeade weekend unless you want to be sitting in ashes as he burns down your castle."

Honestly, Light thought, you would think they were arguing over something of great importance not L wanting French pastries.

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**Okay here you go. One drabble about something inane and silly. Remember to talk to me if you want me to write something because otherwise I'm not going to update that often, probably about once a decade.**

**Good news I should be free for the next seven weeks as its my summer holidays unless my mum drowns me in housework. I'm also in a really good mood since we won House Drama for the second year running. Go Yeomen house! It's like the only competition we can win.**

**This Chapter is dedicated to DarkMudblood and Vixxster2492 who wanted to see L arguing with Dumbledore.**


	4. Chapter 4

The group of students stared at Harry after he finished speaking.

"You know you really shouldn't be speaking about such things in a place like this."

Every person jumped at the sound of one of 'those crazy transfer students' voice. Except Luna who just stood there smiling dreamily like she always does.

"What do you mean?" questioned Hermione trying to maintain an image that they weren't doing anything wrong, like committing a small form of treason.

"What I mean is you shouldn't be talking in a deserted place like this, anyone could hear you, like Ryuuzaki and I for instance." Light smiled at the group, it was not a nice smile. It was the kind of smile you see on people when they find very good blackmail on you. It was the smile that said 'I can hold this above you for the rest of your life and you can't do a thing about it'.

Everyone in the group cringed away, several people started to not-so-subtly look for an escape route before they realized that the door was behind Light and the accumulated grime on the windows had made them impenetrable, even to magic.

"W-W-What a-are you going t-to do?" Neville quavered bravely, causing the people near him to look surprised that they were shown up by the coward of the lion house.

"Weell…." Light smirked stretching the word out to make them squirm "Ryuuzaki and I need a favour…"

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**This Chapter is dedicated to SkittleZ who sent in the idea. Sorry I might have tweaked it a bit. Thanks for the reveiws and favourites everyone I'm really happy that you all enjoy it! I'm thinking of continuing this drabble into the favour L and Light want. I'm thinking they should ask Harry to find them a room so that they can fight in (as it might get a bit annoying with the teachers breaking up the fights (damn more plot bunnies, I think my imagination might benifit from this)) so Harry finds them the Room of Requirement and then they start fighting... Okay I'm uploading this chapter and then going off to write more.**


	5. Chapter 5

"So this is the room you found…it's impressive. You said it can provide anything you want?" Ryuuzaki asked.

"Anything except food or drink, yes." replied Hermione nervously from the front of the newly founded Dumbledore's Army. L pouted muttering something about not getting his hopes up next time.

"Whatever, whatever, you can grumble about the lack of sweets later Ryuuzaki. I can't enjoy kicking your ass if you're not going to fight back." Light bounced impatiently where the Room had layed the floors with Tatami mats like a traditional dojo.

"What you can't be thing of fighting each other?" Hermione demanded turning for confirmation from L, only to see him turn away from her and smirk at Light.

"Whoever said you could kick my ass? If I recall correctly I have a significantly higher amount of wins."

"Just get on with it!" Light huffed before lunging at L impatiently. L dodged smoothly away from his outstretched fist.

"Have to do better than that Light-kun!"

"This is what they wanted a room for? To fight in?" Hermione looked on in growing horror as the two transfers continued scrapping in the centre of the room. To think that Ryuuzaki and Light, who were so studious and clever were fighting like that! The rest of the DA however looked on in awe.

'I think we need to have another aspect of the DA' Harry thought with a growing smirk on his face. 'No way would Voldemort expect us to fight like that.'

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**Poor Hermione! She thought she had found someone like her... such a shame *Evil grin*. Anyway two chapters in less than half an hour! I'm on a roll. I'm thinking of writing and posting another chapter tonight so you people are very lucky, considering that it's 10:40 at night right now. I just have a lot of plot bunnies.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

"Mr. Yagami! Mr. Rue! What on earth do you think you are doing?" came the thundering shout of Professor McGonagall, She-Lion of Gryffindor and Scourge of all good-willed pranksters and mischief-makers everywhere.

The two boys who had been recently kicking and punching each other into the walls, the ground and a few random pieces of armour stood and brushed their robes off casually.

The students watching the fight from either end of the corridor shrank back but refused to retreat from the entertainment brewing.

"It was nothing much Professor McGonagall." Ryuuzaki said nonchalantly "Light-kun and I-"

"Don't call me Light-kun!"

"-simply had a disagreement nothing more."

"A disagreement!" McGonagall bristled "A disagreement doesn't end up with you beating each other half to death!"

"Ryuuzaki and I have been through much worse Professor. This fight was actually quite mild to some of our others" Light tried to placate her, as if he thought what he was saying would reassure her. Needless to say it didn't.

As McGonagall berated both boys a thought was shared through both their minds.

'We need to find somewhere to fight. And soon.'

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**So this is the story of why L and Light asked for that favour. I finished this at 10:55 only 15 minutes after I posted the last chapter because I'm just that good to you people. Please review and send in more requests! I'm really starting to enjoy writing these drabbles!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

"Well the class seem fairly advanced for their level, though I would question whether it is advisable to teach them a potion like the strengthening solution. I think the Ministry would prefer it if that was removed from the syllabus."

Snape's back seemed to tighten to the student's avidly watching the confrontation between Hogwart's Most Hated Professor and the one that had been ousted from the spot by the mere fact that he hated her too. Which in the student's eyes meant that he had a heart no matter how small, black and shrivelled it may be.

"I suppose they would, wouldn't they?" he muttered casually to himself.

"I beg your pardon?" Umbridge's eyes narrowed, she thought she had made an ally out of the dour Head of House. Maybe he wasn't as sympathetic as she thought.

"Oh I merely mean that the Ministry _always_ has the student's best interests at heart" Snape commented. "Very well, everyone stop brewing your potions and listen up!"

The class stopped all movement and looked at Snape in confusion.

"As you heard Professor Umbridge say the Ministry does not want you brewing the Strengthening Solution so we will be moving on to the next potion in the syllabus. Yagami! Do you know what that potion is?" Snape smirked down at Light who smiled slightly before carefully replying.

"Of course sir! It's the Creator of Fire potion isn't it?"

"I think the Ministry would like that removed as well, Professor!" Umbridge all but shrieked.

"Oh, of course Professor Umbridge, then the next potion I believe is the Draught of Absolute Peace, or would you prefer the Filian Tincture, said to remove all bones in a person's body."

"Just what exactly do you teach in here Professor Snape!"

"I believe he would teach Potions Professor Umbridge. It is what he was hired to do, isn't it?" L spoke dryly from beside Light. "Besides he is merely teaching the syllabus that was _approved_ by the Ministry itself, am I correct Professor?"

You are quite right Mr. Ryuzaki. I submitted the syllabus over the summer and it came back with no alterations, I would think that would mean that the Ministry approved of what I was teaching."

Umbridge gave a little shriek of frustration before turning her back and marching out the classroom. Behind her Snape gave a little smirk before saying.

"Well done Yagami, Ryuzaki. Twenty points to Gryffindor each for playing along and removing that dreadful toad from my classroom." He turned around to stone cold silence before barking "Well what are you waiting for? Resume brewing the potion unless you want it to explode in your faces!"

He smiled to himself as he watched the student's jump into action. In another dimension he wouldn't even have thought of doing something like that. Light Yagami and Rue Ryuzaki were changing Hogwarts and the Ministry couldn't do a damn thing to stop it.

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**Ahh Snape...it's such a shame he acts like a git** **in the books seeing as he's so badass. Honestly he's a double spy who betrays Voldie, which takes guts as that man is evil. Ohhh L and Light meet Voldie...that's gotta be funny. Dee ya laters i have another chapter to write.**


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